The Huron Emery column to hit the dos and don’ts of high school and life as a teenager.  This issue tackles dating.

To date or not to date?

We have probably all spent an unreasonable amount of time thinking about dating.  We want to date, we want to be single, we want the comfort of a long term relationship, we want the thrill of a relationship and all without getting hurt. 

It’s fun to like someone and to have them like you back. The chase is often the best part.  It is inside the chase that you get the adrenaline rush of the unknown and the growing attraction. The day-to-day flirting and slowly getting closer creates an opening of possibilities. Getting to see your crush makes going to school something to look forward to.

Dating in high school is loaded with challenges. To start, how do you meet someone? Through social media, in class, through a friend, a friend of a friend, a football game, a job, a club, all of the above? Then what are the social rules once you have met someone? One of you has to make the first move. Then it’s all about playing the game. You have to figure out how many times to chat through social media. Then navigate hanging out: can it be one on one or do you need a group?  What makes a good hang out. It might be going downtown, getting ice cream, bowling, ice skating, a movie or just driving around. It’s hard to figure out if both people are looking for something serious or just physical. Then you have to navigate if it’s exclusive to the two of you or if you’re open to other possibilities at the same time. So much of communication is through social media, which can be fun because it’s frequent and easy, but it also adds to the confusion because social media is rarely clear in communication: either person could be talking to other people at the same time. Then are you just one of many?

Dating in our teen years might be helpful later in life. While we are young, we can get away with being awkward. We can learn how to flirt. We can figure out when to make a move. We can get a feel for the time frame of “talking” and getting to know each other. This hopefully will spare us embarrassment as we get older and have figured this out.

I wonder if dating in high school will come with regret. Will I regret spending my high school years dating or not dating?  It seems that we should take advantage of our youth and have all the fun we can. It’s just a matter of figuring out what is fun. I enjoy time with my friends without the stress of dating and the complicated rules of liking someone. I have enjoyed the closeness and comfort of a long term relationship. I love the thrill of chasing a crush and hoping for the possibilities of something to happen. Ultimately it’s up to you to figure out if dating is part of doing high school right.