A couple years ago, I went to New York over the weekend to perform at Carnegie Hall. After warming up for approximately fifteen seconds, and being ushered backstage by extremely stressed-out coordinators, I was introduced to my fellow competitors. Out of the thirty people that would be competing, only several were my age, or older. The rest were 3-foot-tall, loud and clumsy. I was shocked. The experience of playing in such a famed hall had always been illustrated as a once-in-a-lifetime experience, and these kids that were half my age were already accomplishing what it had taken a decade and a half for me to accomplish. But it wasn’t even their age that scared me; it was the sheer amount of them. 

This has been something I’ve noticed more and more as I’ve gotten older, and over time, I began to adopt a bitter and even jealous mindset towards these high achievers. But as I thought about it more, I realized that the problem didn’t lie with the competitors I had faced. Instead, it lay with society’s obsession with the titles themselves, not the honor that came with being awarded those titles. 

With my mom being a piano teacher, I’ve been exposed to toxicity like this for as long as I can remember. When she brings me along to events she’s judging or volunteering at, I can’t help but overhear the whispered conversations between parents. I don’t remember a specific one, but many go along the lines of: 

“My daughter is testing out of Level 12 this year, what about yours?”

“She’s been busy with Level 11, but she recently won first place at the Rosalie Edwards competition!”

I used to tell myself that their caustic, barbed words were nothing but parental pride, but it’s far more than just that. Gaining trophies means nothing if it’s only for the sake of bragging rights. Winning first place means nothing if it’s only an addition to your resume. All of this only encourages competition to make it to the top rather than making the process mean something genuine, creating the perfect environment for superficiality. 

As stated by Fearless Culture, “The problem with titles is that we’ve turned them into currency. Instead of facilitating work, they have become a bargaining chip.” We need to stop promoting this issue by trying to change our mindsets into truly wanting to grow as individuals, or even simply pursuing the things we love doing, instead of chasing after validation.